Growing up in Iowa doesn't provide many opportunities to sail. Landlocked lakes and all that. But today a friend took me out and taught me how to tack, how to come about, and a wealth of other terms that I can't remember off the top of my head.

I, in turn, only taught him to duck under a boom, like, once.

Which was better than knocking him into the lake - a feat I highly expected to accomplish.

But the end result was that I kinda sort kinda learned to sail a little bit - or at least I learned how to be a passenger on a sailboat, provide minimal labor force, and not kill everyone aboard. The entire thing is a feat I hadn't ever planned on accomplishing and one that made for a very wonderful birthday. I don't think he reads this site, but if he did I'd say thank you again for the 900th time. It was really very cool and fun.

I spent the rest of my evening going to see "About a Boy" (Good movie to see. Bad movie to see surrounded by middle-aged women apparently all in love with Hugh Grant), and picking my way around stacks of my belongings covered in plaster. On a plus note, the painter managed to replaster a wall for me and paint the second bedroom, so I have high hopes that he may be finished sometime in my lifetime. On the downside, he opted not to cover my monitor or new laptop with plastic this afternoon, so I'm sure there is plaster dust eating away at them right now. Sigh.

The interior of my house is currently being painted. It was supposed to take two days. The guy started yesterday. At the moment, I'd love to show you pictures of what the house looks like. Picture, if you will, everything I own pulled away from the walls. Pulled out of cupboards. Piled in the middle of every room. Covered in plastic sheets. All of the miniblinds in the house are down, so my late evening fashionable ensemble of a very old (but amazingly once again fitting) t-shirt from Jackson Hole, WY and running shorts is shared with the entire neighborhood. I would share pictures with you, but I cannot because my main computer is still dead and I can't find my own ass in this mess, let alone the CD of software for the digital camera.

They patched up some cracks in the walls of the house, and left plaster everywhere. Seriously - I have no idea how this guy is going to clean the hardwoods. I wouldn't know what to do to clean it up. The landlords called earlier and I almost invited them over to watch their heads explode when they looked at the floors.

The house smells of paint fumes. The cats don't know what is going on. I don't know what is going on. I'd be furious if I weren't so exhausted.

And the best part is - I leave for E3 in three days. And I offered my house up to a friend to feed my cats and have a quiet place away from his roommates. I wonder if he likes sleeping under plastic sheets...

From a discussion with the ever amazing Gryph on why we no longer want the sexy boots that look like they'd hurt our feet - the boots we coveted as teenagers:

"I don't need shoes. I have a dirty mind."

You said it, sister. In three days, I'll turn 33. I'm just getting warmed up. :-)

I'm sunburnt. My face hurts. And this is the third Saturday night in a row that I've found myself watching movies with the cats. The overwhelming excitement is just mind-boggling, isn't it?

Oh yes, and for those following the story - the motherboard on my desktop computer is dead dead dead. Apparently I'm the only person in the world who didn't know that the AMD Duron wasn't the route to go when building my computer. Alas. Fortunately, I can use the cable modem with the VAIO, so I'm not as disconnected as I feared. No idea when I'll get the other computer fixed. My budget wasn't planning for any major computer expenses for awhile - the desktop was only a year old after all.

By all accounts, I'd have to say it has not been an exceptional week. Considering my birthday is next Saturday, any positive vibes sent my way will be appreciated. I love my cats dearly, but I don't think I want to spend the evening at home alone with them.

Excuse me while I get uncharacteristicly ranty...

This is the 1st Amendment to the Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Here is a thing I really hate about the Internet. This idea that freedom of speech means freedom of speech without responsibility for your speech. These are not the same things. They have never been the same things. And how are there so many people out there who think they are the same thing?

I have every right to freely walk up to my best friend and announce that she looks fat in that dress. And it is my responsiblity to know that she will likely never speak to me again.

I have every right to freely stand up in the middle of a movie and yell "FIRE!". And it is my responsibility to know that I will likely be kicked out of the theater if I'm lying.

I have every right to publish a book filled with heinous lies and slander about a real person. And it is my responsibility to deal with the libel or slander suit that lands in my lap.

I have every right to stand in front of McDonald's and howl to the ends of the earth that they are evil, demonic, and looked at me funny. And it is my responsiblity to haul my ass over to Burger King to get a soda when I get thirsty, because it is McDonald's right not to serve me one and I expect they will excercise it.

I have every right to post to my website a rant about people clawing apart a two-hundred year old document to find the parts that fit their own personal agendas-of-the-moment. And it is my responsiblity to know that people may find it, read it, and judge me by my yelling.

Is this that difficult to understand? Is it rocket science? Apparently it is...

As if flipping tampons at a 17-year-old hadn't made this week enough fun already, my home computer decided to just, well, stop last night. Went out with a whimper - which is probably better than a bang. I have a bad feeling that I'm about to have an ex-hard drive. :/ This also means that my access to email is somewhat limited until I get the computer fixed, so forgive me if I don't answer things.

All I'm saying is this:

When you're looking for that special something to add the final touches to what has been pretty much a suck Monday? Try accidentally flipping feminine hygiene products out of your purse and over the counter to land at the feet of Bobbby, the teenage McDonald's counter boy.

Because baby, it just don't get more Monday than that, damnit.

My front porch is a great early evening perch. There are now 8 - count 'em 8 - plants of various shapes and sizes lining the porch, a couple of cozy chairs, a teak table, and a pretty copper windchime that softly rings in an evening breeze. Since its May, everything is still green and lush for central Texas. There is a family of squirrels bopping around on the lawn, fleeting glimpses of the green anoles living under the floorboards, and the lovely interlude is only occasionally shattered by the sudden ka-weeep! of one of the grackles living in the trees over the driveway. You know, I'd like them much more if their bird calls didn't sound like someone stepping on a dog toy...

So I said, "How exactly did I just go from 'cool' to 'sucks' in a single sentence?"

He looked at me and smirked.

"Well, duh. You work in online games. You should be used to that."